So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
