remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
