i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
