I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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