It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
