WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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