I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
