we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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