I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
