Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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