That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
