Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
