Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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