fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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