Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
