I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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