she woke up with a sticky ear
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
