Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
