I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
