I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His nipple licking is glorious
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