I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
