the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
