Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
