The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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