woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
