Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
