why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
