Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
