Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
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