Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
