you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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