My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
