Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
