guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
