Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
