Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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