That's intense
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
