So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
