Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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