Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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