I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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