I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
