flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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