Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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