How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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