Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
they're like a gay fantastic four
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
