im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
