Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
not ubering you a puppy
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
