these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
