um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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