she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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